Author: Kurt Bostelaar

  • Grow Your Self Awareness – Generic Debrief Worksheet

    Worksheet and Post inspired and adapted from InterVarsity training experiences.

    [2 Minute Read]

    What can you do to facilitate personal growth? How can you tangibly grow your emotional intelligence?

    Slow down, reflect, and debrief your actions and activities with the Generic Debrief Worksheet.

    Reflecting on your actions and activities grows your self awareness. It helps shift your perspective and facilitates and accelerates your growth. 

    My Job

    At my current job I work as a Product Development Specialist. Our team works together to design and bring to market physical consumer products. We have thousands of different products we have designed and produced. We use a software program to store all the information for each of these products. One of my co-workers was in charge of this process. He would fill in the 350+ data fields needed for each new product. 

    Bump in the Road

    I never paid much attention to the item setup process.  That was until a couple months ago when that team member left the company. With his departure, the knowledge of how to use the software also left. This was not an ideal situation to have. With this gap in our team I soon found out that this item setup process was going to fall under my responsibility. I then was handed 4 new items that I needed to put into the system. 

    At this point I found myself struggling to keep up and frustrated with what was happening. The item setup process is not very difficult if you know what all the data fields refer to. It is a mountain of a task if you are starting from scratch with no training on it. I remember sitting at my computer staring at the screen feeling angry. I was paralyzed by this task as I knew it would take me a long time to figure out. 

    Debrief

    What saved me in this moment was stopping to debrief and reflect on what was happening. I pulled out my debrief template and went down the sheet. I first thought through everything that had happened and that would need to happen.

    I then took stock of my emotions. As I was writing them down I felt myself becoming more self aware as I slowed down and processed what I was feeling. I realized it was okay for me to be upset about this situation. I realized it was okay for me to feel overwhelmed by this large project in front of me. Processing through these emotions helped me to slow down and gain some clarity. 

    Turning Point

    Things shifted for me when I then reflected in my journal what was really happening. I realized that when seen in a different light, this project had the potential to be a positive thing. I would get to learn something new from it. For me learning new things is something I enjoy so this was very helpful for me to realize. I also realized that this was a chance for me to really step up at my company and provide value. The project I had before seen as a barrier started to look more like an opportunity for growth. 

    The Result

    The project did end up taking me about a month and had some frustrating moments. But throughout the month I was motivated because I had re-calibrated my perspective. I had stopped to debrief and reflect. And from that I had changed my view and it had helped me move forward. 

    I actually recently finished training a new employee in how to use the software. On top of that I even created some video resources for how to use it as well. 

    Practical Tools

    Reflecting on your actions and activities grows your self awareness. It helps shift your perspective and facilitates and accelerates your growth. 

    See the worksheet to try it for yourself.

    PDF Worksheet

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  • How to Fit Everything into Your Week – Big Priorities Planning Sheet

    Worksheet and Post inspired and adapted from the principles behind Randi Zuckerberg’s book “Pick Three: You Can Have It All (Just Not Every Day)“

    [2 Minute Read]

    How do you bring a more proactive intention to your day? How do you engage deeply in different areas of life without being overwhelmed?

    You set daily focuses to bring alignment and clarity.

    Reality

    While we do not like facing trade offs, they are a constant we cannot ignore. When you get off work, you cannot simultaneously eat a home cooked meal with family, go to the bar with friends, and go to the gym for a workout all at the same time. You must face the trade offs and choose.

    With the average adult making 35,000 decisions a day (Sahakian & Labuzetta, 2013), it is important to not get bogged down by the weight of these decisions which over time can sap away your motivation from pursuing the things that matter most to you in your life.  You can have a goal of getting fit; but it is hard if you wait until closing time at 5 pm after work to decide if you are going to workout that day.  Any hesitation is going to carry you away from your goal and erode your motivation.

    You Can Have It All – Just Not Everyday

    By limiting yourself each day with only a set number of main focuses; you actually will find that your week expands. While you cannot do it all in one day; you can find space in one week to hit all of the most important things in your life. A week filled with scattered attention to everything pales in comparison to a week filled with diverse days filled with deep focus.

    By planning your day with the Daily Focus method, you will find the truth behind how one decision can make a thousand decisions for your day

    Real Life Example

    Last Saturday I found myself stuck with a dilemma. After sleeping in I forgot to decide on my daily focuses. Before I knew it, it was 3 pm and I received a text inviting me to play soccer that night at 8 pm. As the clock ticked closer to 8 pm I realized I had not worked out all week.

    What seemed like an easy decision to go play soccer became complicated as I realized that for my weekend I had not done any chores, I had not spent quality time with my wife, and I had been busy working all week and had not spent a huge amount of time with my newborn daughter. With the majority of the weekend in front of me I started to become anxious over my weekend already disappearing and me not getting to enjoy it on the things that mattered most.

    In that moment I filled out my daily focuses for that day and the next. As I filled it out I realized I had already caught up on sleep, and soccer could be my chance to workout and hang with friends. That then meant I could focus Sunday on my wife and family and the chores. I could invest deeply in multiple areas; just not all at once.

    This two minutes of making high level decisions then freed me up to enjoy my time at soccer. And after going over the trade offs with my wife, it gave me the confidence not to second guess decisions that came my way as I had more clarity. This did not mean I did not still change a couple diapers before going to play soccer. It just meant when a friend was calling on Sunday and I knew it would be a long conversation, it was easy to set the phone aside.  I was able to focus on spending time with my family knowing there would be space later that week to call them back as my main focus.

    References – Sahakian, B. J. & Labuzetta, J. N. (2013). Bad moves: how decision making goes wrong, and the ethics of smart drugs. London: Oxford University Press.

    Practical Tools

    The beautiful reality is that selecting daily focuses (and therefore not selecting other potential focuses) liberates instead of restricts.

    Check out the worksheet to try it for yourself.

    PDF Worksheet

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  • How to Craft a Morning Routine

    Worksheet and Post inspired and adapted from the principles behind James Clear’s book, “Atomic Habits“

    [2 Minute Read]

    How can you set the tempo of your day? What can you do to increase your daily motivation?

    Craft a morning routine.

    Morning Routines

    Morning routines set the tempo of your day with momentum that motivates. 

    Almost a year ago I found myself on a normal Saturday at 3 pm waking up from a nap. At the time I was getting used to a new job, a new city, and a new baby. With the mental overload from the newness I was experiencing I found it hard to get going in the mornings. Especially on a Saturday. That is why in a post nap daze I with confusion asked myself, “How did I get here?”. In that moment I realized I had done the essentials of taking care of the baby and eating that day. But I had not done anything of substance. 

    There was nothing wrong with this lazy Saturday. It was justifiable to take things slow. Yet, I was curious if there was more. It seemed like most days I never got into gear completely. Tied to that, there were certain days that felt hyper productive but what led them to be felt elusive.

    Testing a New Routine

    The next day, Sunday, I decided to craft a morning routine to try out for the next week. I pulled ideas from “Atomic Habits” by James Clear which I had recently read. My morning routine was to consist of two things to keep it simple. Drinking a glass of water immediately upon waking up and doing some form of exercise.


    The next day, Monday, I found myself at 3 pm at work being very productive. I was knocking down task after task. I realized my morning routine had been the key that had propelled me into an amazing day! Upon reflection I remembered something that had happened earlier that day, at 5:45 am. In an early morning daze I had looked around myself and noticed I was on the sidewalk walking to the gym.

    Transformation

    “How did I get here?” was the question I had asked myself. And in that instant I filled with motivation as I realized what had happened. Sunday night I had prepared for my morning routine by doing preparatory tasks. I had put my phone on the charger in the living room instead of the bedroom. I had set my alarm clock. I had filled up my water bottle and set it next to my bed. I had selected a workout and put my workout outfit and shoes next to my bed.

    That meant that when I woke up on Monday morning I followed the path laid before me. I turned off my alarm and drank the water next to my alarm clock. The water seemed to wake me up from the inside as I took a big swig. Then I saw my workout outfit and put it on and headed out the door.

    By the time I was awake completely I was on the sidewalk walking to the gym wondering how I had gotten there. I was so pumped that I was going to hit my target activities of drinking water and exercising.

    It felt like this morning routine had defined the rest of my day for me in advance. I felt ready to take on the day. This energy and motivation ended up spilling over into the rest of my day

    Morning routines set the tempo of your day with momentum that motivates.

    Practical Tools

    Check out the worksheet to craft your own morning routine.

    PDF Worksheet

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  • Reach a 5 Year Goal through Daily Planning & Tracking

    Worksheet and Post inspired and adapted from the principles behind Ryder Carroll’s book “The Bullet Journal Method“

    [2.5 Minute Read]

    How can you reach a 5 year goal? Use the 54321 technique.

    54321 is a tool that allows you to continuously determine daily action steps from a 5 year goal.

    Determining next steps for an audacious goal is an important process. The goal gives meaning and motivation to your daily actions. The goal also provides direction while the next steps ensure progress.

    Looking Back

    As I embark on a new 5 year goal of starting a business with Leverlo I have been reflecting on my previous 5 year goal. From 2014 to 2018 I had been working on an audacious goal. The goal had been to start a branch of InterVarsity (a national non-profit) in Daytona Beach, FL.

    As I have reflected on how the goal had been accomplished, I could not help but ask, “How did that happen”? In response, I received some clarity after recently reading about the 54321 tool.  I realized it had held the key principles that had helped me push through to reach the goal.

    The Dream

    When I graduated from college in 2014 I had a dream. In college I had received faith based leadership development from InterVarsity. This development had transformed many aspects of my life. My dream was to start a branch of InterVarsity in Daytona Beach where it currently did not exist.

    It was so exciting to me to think about this dream becoming a reality. To see InterVarsity planted in Daytona got my heart racing. To imagine independent student groups on each of the campuses. To imagine the impact on student’s lives. The potential of this happening kept me awake at night with excitement.

    The Barriers

    While this dream seemed expansive that was what had made it exciting at the start. Looking back, this enthusiasm soon encountered barriers and began to wane. For various reasons it took me almost a year to even move to Daytona. And once I got there I found the work of establishing something new emotionally draining. This made it hard to stay motivated.

    Before this Daytona goal, my previous goal had been to graduate college. This had been so very different. College had a linear path to follow. But in Daytona there was no course list to follow. There was no set of syllabi for each semester to track along with.

    I can remember a moment halfway through my time in Daytona. I was sitting with 10 college students from a nearby university in my living room. And while I sat there I was excited about how a group was forming among these students. But my mind kept wondering, how are we going to reach the other 8 campuses?

    Questions such as this were common for me. Questions about how it would even be possible to make the dream a reality always were surfacing. How should I use my time? How could we raise more money to bring on more staff? How was this going to work?

    Pushing Through

    Looking back I realized the principles from 54321 are what led to eventual success. When I would get discouraged I would reflect on why I was doing this in the first place. And I would come back to my audacious goal. The dream would motivate me. It would also orient me in the right direction for determining next steps. And from there I would create a game plan for what to do next. And these next steps had meaning because they were tied directly to my dream.

    This process was never easy. Many times I thought it was never going to happen. But day by day over the course of years, the dream became a reality and InterVarsity now exists in Daytona Beach.

    Determining next steps for an audacious goal is an important process. The goal gives meaning and motivation to your daily actions. The goal also provides direction while the next steps ensure progress.

    Practical Tools

    Check out the free worksheet to work towards your 5 year goal. For a more in depth resource, check out the workbook.

    PDF Worksheet

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  • How to Craft a Story to Teach Ideas

    Worksheet and Post inspired and adapted from the principles behind the Heath Brother’s book “Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die“

    [2 Minute Read]

    How do you ensure that the ideas you are communicating are understood? How can you get your ideas across?

    You craft stories around what you are trying to teach.

    The Power of Story

    Stories have the power to transform.

    Shortly after graduating from college I moved to Daytona Beach FL, where I did not know anyone. I moved there to start a franchise of a national non-profit. The first step in doing so was raising tens of thousands of dollars. This consisted of meeting with folks 1 on 1 to share about the organization and inviting them to invest.

    To prepare for these meetings I created a detailed outline of my talking points. It contained facts about the organization, statistics, and plenty of bullet points. While I had passion and put in hard work I did not see progress. My desire to see folks understand the organization seemed to fall flat. If I am honest I often felt defeated in this season.

    During this time I ended up reading “Made to Stick” by the Heath Brothers. The book contained a lot of useful advice.

    They taught that you must first strip your long list of ideas down to a core idea. Then they pushed for wrapping that core idea in a story. They showed example after example of how this would lead to impact. They argued also that stories were memorable and entertaining.

    Transitioning to Using Stories

    Over time I shifted my presentation to a story based format. By the end of this process I had cut my 4 page document down to 2 bullet points!

    I still remember my first meeting after changing my format. I walked into a diner to meet a new prospective donor named Steve with my palms sweating. I was nervous that I was not prepared enough. My only notes for my talking points consisted of a sticky note with four words on it.

    • Stacy Story
    • FIT Story

    Each story represented one of the two main core ideas of the organization.

    As I talked with Steve I shared those two stories. They immediately resonated! Afterwards it felt like Steve understood who we were and what we were about. It seemed to click into place. It was a validating and fulfilling experience that lifted my spirits.

    I had learned that stories have the power to transform.

    Practical Tools

    The process of editing down my 4 page document to a 2 bullet point sticky note was not an overnight process. This worksheet and online course contains all the tips and tricks I picked up along the way. Use it to craft stories that will make an impact. Not any old story will do. But a crafted story can transform.

    PDF Worksheet

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